


The Ninja Illuminati of the Wizarding World

by phoenixyfriend



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Naruto
Genre: Canon Triggers Apply, Gen, Immortality, Mentors, Parseltongue, Relationship tags to be added as they appear, character tags to be added as they appear
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-10
Updated: 2017-04-12
Packaged: 2018-08-21 17:57:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 15,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8255084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phoenixyfriend/pseuds/phoenixyfriend
Summary: The Oto Family has been funding projects the world over for almost as long as wizardkind has existed. They are patrons of the arts, the magics, and education.The heir has come to Hogwarts to study up on recent advancements in British medical wizardry, and Harry's mind can only whisper "creepy."(The ghosts seem to like him, though. That part's strange.)





	1. Second Year

Harry James Potter was in his second year when he first met Mitsuki Oto.

‘Creepy,’ was what many of the students called him. Conversely, others called him attractive or even pretty. Harry wasn’t sure what counted towards either, but if asked, he would have said that he was pretty sure both descriptors applied. It was the eyes, mostly. Yellow and slit, they were just _weird._

Dr. Oto, he insisted on being called, was on loan from a little-known Japanese institute to learn about recent advances in healing in the United Kingdom, and Europe in general. To that end, he would be splitting his time between St. Mungo’s and Hogwarts’ hospital wing. At least, that was the official story that they were all told.

(“What’s St. Mungo’s?”)

(“A wizarding hospital in London, Harry, honestly. Professor Snape has mentioned it at _least_ three times when he tells us to pay attention if we don’t want to end up with strange injuries like some of his former students.”)

Harry had no idea what the truth was, but he actually did listen when Hermione started history-gossiping upon hearing the mention that Dr. Oto had chosen Hogwarts due to _family ties_ , whatever that meant.

“The Oto family, they…” Hermione struggled to come up with a good explanation, for once. “Okay, do you know about the Medici?”

“No.”

“Never mind. The Oto family has been funding public works projects, especially schools, for well over a millennia. Their influence can be traced back all over the planet for most of written history.” Hermione’s eye glittered. “But only the current head and heir apparent ever hold the Oto name, and they’re really insular. They helped fund the very _creation_ of Hogwarts! Even Merlin wrote about them in his memoirs, but we know almost nothing about individual members. Most people do mention the eyes, though, when they meet the central members in person.”

The yellow, snake-slit eyes. Right.

 “So we’re dealing with someone richer and even more ‘pureblooded’ than Malfoy. Great.” Ron snorted. “He looks shifty.”

“Ronald!”

“What? He does!”

Harry had no idea what to think, yet.

o.o.o.o.o

When it came to new arrivals to the school, Harry thought later that week, Dr. Oto was a million times more tolerable than Lockhart.

All Harry had done was spill some unfinished Pepper-Up on his lap (which was _entirely_ Malfoy’s fault, as he would tell anyone who asked), but it had left strong enough burns to get Harry sent to the Hospital Wing. He figured that, if nothing else, at least he’d get to meet the new healer.

“I could take care of it, Poppy. If you don’t mind?”

“Go right ahead. I still need to see your spellwork in action.”

Harry grudgingly took off his pants to expose the burnt skin when asked, and waited as patiently as he could as Dr. Oto started healing.

“So, why _did_ you choose to come to Hogwarts? Why now?”

Dr. Oto didn’t look up from where the skin was slowly changing to a more normal color. “I came here because, of all the places my family has ties to, this castle is the strongest bar two. I chose _now_ because of what occurred last year.”

He looked up with a smile as the burns finished healing. “We like to keep an eye on our projects.”

Harry wasn’t sure what to think of that. “How old are you?”

“Older than I look. Now, back to class with you. I’m sure you’ve still got some learning to do.” Dr. Oto stood up and waved his wand at Harry’s pants, vanishing the remaining stains. “Say hello to Nick for me, would you? He hasn’t been by to see me, yet.”

“Nick?” Harry said, as he pulled his pants on.

“Your house ghost, of course.” Dr. Oto smiled at him, and Harry thought, for just a moment, that he could see a hint of blue in the man’s white hair. “Off you get. Potions aren’t going to brew themselves, you know.”

Harry… Harry only wondered how Dr. Oto knew Nearly-Headless Nick.

o.o.o.o.o

Harry didn’t see Dr. Oto more than peripherally again until Nick’s Deathday party, when the man was one of the only other living people at the party. He was cheerily conversing with the Grey Lady and the Bloody Baron, and Harry didn’t understand a word of it. Neither did Hermione.

“Well of course you wouldn’t,” the Fat Friar told them. “That form of English hasn’t been understandable in centuries.”

“What do you mean?” Harry asked.

“They’re speaking English as it was spoken in the Founder’s time. Hadn’t you guessed?”

They hadn’t.

(When they found Mrs. Norris, petrified in a hallway filled with water, Dr. Oto’s face was lacking his customary smile, and his strange yellow eyes seemed more interested in the bathroom than the cat.)

o.o.o.o.o

“Does the concept of _refraining_ from getting involved in branches of magic that you are _eminently unqualified for_ somehow fail to present itself as a poor one?” Dr. Oto asked, glaring at Lockhart while Madam Pomfrey tutted over Harry’s arm.

Lockhart appeared distinctly ruffled. Harry figured it was because of how the question was phrased; _Harry_ certainly wasn’t sure what Dr. Oto was saying.

“I assure you, I’ve used this spell on previous—”

“You are not a healer by any definition. In an emergency situation, I would accept a faulty attempt at healing, but this most certainly did not qualify.” Dr. Oto’s face was much less amused and pleasant than usual, Harry thought. The man’s smiles usually seemed at least a little unnatural, but if this was the alternative…

“Get the hell out of my Hospital Wing.” Dr. Oto almost snarled the words, and Harry thought, for just a moment, that he saw actual fear on Lockhart’s face.

“It’s _my_ Hospital Wing, Mitsuki, and I’d remind you to watch your language around the students.” Madam Pomfrey said sharply. “But I do agree with the sentiment. We have the situation covered, Professor Lockhart. Mr. Potter needs rest, and I doubt he will have the chance to enjoy it with you hovering. _Any_ of you.”

The final words were addressed to the Gryffindor team and professors that had come in as well, and everyone save for the Healers and Harry trooped out.

(Well, Hermione and Ron stayed a few extra minutes, but even they were shooed out by Madam Pomfrey quickly enough.)

o.o.o.o.o

When Colin Creevey was brought into the Hospital Wing, Harry did his best to stay still and quiet, watching the still body brought in by wandlight.

“Where?” Dr. Oto asked, his smile gone completely. His eyes are more visible than usual, Harry thought, because when the man smiled, you saw nothing of them. “Where was he found?”

Harry listened as they related how Colin was found on the staircase, watched as Dr. Oto and Madam Pomfrey cast every spell they could think of on the younger boy.

“I’m going to contact my parent and uncle,” Dr. Oto told the other adults. “I may have solutions that are quicker than the Mandrakes, but they aren’t formulated for quite this situation.”

“You’ve encountered petrification before?”

“In several forms. This one is… familiar, but the condition is delicate.” Harry couldn’t see Dr. Oto’s face, but there was something in his voice that certainly communicated displeasure. “Headmaster, if we could have a word in your office?”

“Is it a matter of secrecy?”

“…Well, no more than any other part of my history. Minerva and Severus are welcome to come, though I believe Poppy would prefer to stay and care for Mr. Creevey. Unless…?”

“You’re not mistaken, Mitsuki. Go ahead, shoo. Leave an old woman to her work.”

There wasn’t much left for Harry to eavesdrop on after that.

o.o.o.o.o

So… things happened. A lot of things happened. Like Harry finding out what a “Parseltongue” was, and Justin getting Petrified, and getting accused of being the Heir of Slytherin. That was less than fun.

“Ridiculous.” Dr. Oto said at one point, not speaking to Harry, but within earshot of him. “Slytherin’s line never extended past a single generation. Any remaining heirs would have to be at least a millennium old.”

Hermione was also there, as was Ron, and as per usual, the girl immediately pursued the opportunity for new knowledge with little regard for anything else. She waited for just long enough to sense a lull in Dr. Oto’s conversation with Professor Flitwick, and then jumped in.

“How do you know that? It’s not in any of the books I’ve read on the Founders, not even Hogwarts: A History.”

“The ghosts,” Dr. Oto answered, apparently not even the slightest bit bothered. “There are a handful that have been here since the school was founded; one of them was the daughter of a Founder herself.”

Hermione seemed a little shocked by that. Harry remembered what Dr. Oto had said about Nearly Headless Nick, and wondered if the doctor (and that was Harry’s main resistance to Ron calling the man worse than the Malfoys; he called himself a doctor, not a healer, and that was a thoroughly Muggle term) simply considered it normal to befriend ghosts and learn from them. Hermione certainly seemed to like the idea, once it was opened up to her.

“But there have been lines calling themselves the Heirs of Slytherin for generations,” Hermione finally argued back. “Not many, of course, but—”

“Ah, yes, well…” Dr. Oto seemed to be suppressing a smile. “Not quite descendants of Slytherin’s _children_. Creations, more like.”

There was a very quiet pause at that.

“What.”

“Salazar was a very avid tinkerer, when it came to biology. He was helpful in his own way, and pioneered artificial insemination and other fertility-related advancements long before anyone else bothered with them.” Dr. Oto told them, apparently enjoying the chance to tell a bit of history. “He actually aided quite a few people with having children, but would often… augment the child in some way. Nothing intense or inhumane, and always with the parents’ permission, but a few of those experimental results, while still wholly human, considered themselves his heirs in some way. Which, considering Slytherin did have heirs already, however little they bothered with continuing the family line, was rather presumptuous of them.”

The shocked silence lasted a few seconds again, and then Ron leaned over to Harry and muttered, “Can we get him to teach History of Magic instead?”

Dr. Oto laughed.

“Mr. Weasley,” Professor Flitwick scolded, “You shouldn’t disrespect your professor like that. I understand that Professor Binns is not the most engaging of instructors, but he is a very old and distinguished member of our school.”

“Ah, I do believe I have views on history that your school, and more importantly, your government and certain parents, would disapprove of.” Dr. Oto hummed a little in thought. “In any case, I won’t be staying here for longer than necessary, though how long that ends up being is thus far an indefinite period.”

Harry wasn’t sure if he felt this was a good thing or a bad one. Hermione, apparently, was far more interested in pursuing the original point. “The reason people think Harry is the heir is because of he can speak to snakes. The most well-known wizards recorded to have that ability were Slytherin and Voldemort, so—”

“Merlin had the ability as well, actually. He didn’t broadcast it, but he certainly _had_ it.” Dr. Oto smiled as he said this, cutting Hermione off. “And Voldemort’s ancestral line, the Gaunts, were a result of Slytherin’s attempts to see how Parseltongue was transmitted from parent to child, and which alterations to genetic structure were key to causing it, if magic itself wasn’t responsible.”

“…Dr. Oto, I believe we would all appreciate it if you were a little less cavalier in delivering such information.” Flitwick said, looking a little perturbed himself. “Are you certain you learned all this from the ghosts?”

“The Oto family does hold some of Slytherin’s experimental records in our care,” Dr. Oto confided, his eyes laughing with some hidden, quiet joke that nobody else understood. “But the Grey Lady could certainly tell you plenty of this information, if she thought it worth telling. She was Ravenclaw’s only daughter, and while she was far more stubborn and willful than her mother, she was certainly more than intelligent enough to take interest in Salazar’s doings.”

“So just speaking Parseltongue wouldn’t make anyone the heir of Slytherin.” Hermione said, as though seeking clarification.

“My dear, if that were all it took, I could name a half-dozen people off the top of my head that could compete for the title.” He paused a moment, thoughtful, and then leaned forward so that he could whisper without the rest of the hallway hearing. At least, that was what Harry expected, and what everyone else leaned in to hear.

Instead, with a small burst of hissing and quiet snarls, Dr. Oto spoke in a language only Harry understood.

 _“Myself included, of course._ ”

Harry stood stock-still as the man stood straight again, a self-satisfied smirk on his lips.

Even Flitwick was gaping.

“I did say we had a number of Slytherin’s records in our care. I never said we left them alone.” Dr. Oto’s smile was a languid one, seemingly relishing in their reactions. He leaned back against the railing, seeming like he was ready to topple right over it and into the chasm below. “Chin up; this really isn’t even the most impressive of what I can do from genetic augmentation. I’m nowhere near as visibly changed as some of the people who raised me. Kabuto would make your purity-obsessed government froth at the mouth, with what he’s done to himself in the name of science.”

“So you’re…”

“Still human. All the most distinct markers of species differentiation are missing, no matter what people may try to argue. I could procreate if I so chose, and my children would be able to do so as well, which is really the most important part of the definition.” He smiled. “As for pureblooded or not… people do come to the strangest conclusions, don’t they?”

He leaned back further, and Harry felt himself cry out as the man really _did_ fall back and over the stone, rushing forward in a futile attempt to grab him before he crashed to the ground in a bloody mess. Screams from below indicated that others had noticed the man plummet past, but they didn’t last nearly long enough for the corpse Harry expected.

When he (and Ron, and Hermione, and Professor Flitwick) reached the rail and looked over, it was to see Dr. Oto standing on the ground floor, some eighty feet below, waving up at them. Harry could just barely make out the man’s smile before he turned and began walking away. Just before he left earshot, he called back over his shoulder, “I’ll see you at dinner, Filius!”

Ron was the one to break the silence.

“What in the name of Merlin’s saggy—”

“Ronald!”

o.o.o.o.o

“Are we sure _he’s_ not the heir of Slytherin?”

“He basically admitted to not being a pureblood, and… well, I don’t think anyone claiming to be the heir of Slytherin would admit to being anything less than pureblood and… I don’t want to say pure human, but unaugmented, perhaps.”

“…So, we’ll add him to the maybe list.”

o.o.o.o.o

Dr. Oto stared at Hermione for all of three seconds when she entered the Hospital Wing, covered in fur and sporting a pair of fuzzy cat ears. He snorted something that sounded like “nekomimi,” (which was definitely _not_ Parseltongue, but Harry had no idea what it actually was) and immediately ushered her over to a bed.

“Oh, but I would _love_ to get some data from this incident.” He muttered. “Ms. Granger, if it’s not too presumptuous to ask, would you mind if I took some samples?”

“Samples?” Hermione practically squeaked.

“Blood, hair, tissue… I can do it painlessly using magic, but you are well within your rights to refuse. Botched animal-hair Polyjuice aren’t exactly common, and while these are far from perfect experimental conditions, any information helps in the goal for further refinement of future variations on the potion.” Dr. Oto informed them, bustling around in search of… something.

“Polyjuice potion?” Hermione asked, sounding for all the world like she had no idea what he was talking about. “What’s that?”

“Don’t be coy; I can smell the remnants of it from here. I assume you spilled some on your robes?” Dr. Oto didn’t even _look_ at them when he levelled the accusation. “I’m impressed, though. Most people your age wouldn’t be able to get even part of the potion correct, let alone the entire thing. You’re a very skilled young woman.”

Hermione didn’t blush, or if she did, it was hidden behind the fur. Her ears did fold back a little though, laying just a little closer her head. “I’m sure I don’t know what you mean.”

“At least cats are fairly well-regarded. Imagine if you’d accidentally gotten hair from your friend’s pet rat instead!” Dr. Oto told her brightly, finally coming back to the bed with a tray of potions. “Drink up, now.”

He watched as Hermione choked down the potions, which Harry figured was standard practice since Madam Pomfrey tended to do the same thing, making sure people actually did as they were told and drank their medicine.

“You really shouldn’t be messing around with things this far above your level without supervision,” Dr. Oto said after a moment. “Experimentation is all well and good, but you really ought to make sure someone’s there to catch the mistakes. You ended up with one of the most benign problems you could have, with this potion. Not everyone gets that lucky.”

“Lucky,” Hermione repeated, with almost a laugh. “You call this _lucky_.”

“Considering the alternatives, absolutely.” Dr. Oto muttered. “You haven’t seen what a seriously imbalanced potion can do.”

“Don’t give the students nightmares, doctor.” Madam Pomfrey said as she swept out of her office. “I’ve enough trouble keeping them in their beds at night.”

“They’re children, Poppy. They’ve every right to be a little excited.” Dr. Oto swept to his feet and brought the vials over to the sink, where they abruptly vanished to be cleaned off… somewhere.

(House Elves, Harry later learned. They would be washed by House Elves.)

o.o.o.o.o

Valentine’s Day was a disaster of epic proportions. Lockhart was evil, Harry was sure of it, if only a very petty kind of evil that you didn’t normally pay attention to. An annoying evil.

Harry got more Valentines than he wanted, which wasn’t very many, but it was still more than his ideal of “zero.”

Dr. Oto, he noticed, got a good dozen or so, each of which he read perfunctorily and then set aside, returning to his conversation with Professor Sprout.

Disappointment abounded, but the only thing Harry really heard on the subject was that people were generally turned down with “I’m older than I look, and you are far too young for me as a result. Perhaps this classmate would be a better choice?” and then pointed in the direction of some unrequited crush they’d never noticed with unerring and unnerving accuracy.

Harry wondered why the hell Dr. Oto was paying that much attention to student romances, but saw him talking to a few of the ghosts with Valentines in hand and figured that was probably it.

It was always dead people with that man.

(When Harry found the diary, tucked it away and planned to see what was so special about it, he was too focused to notice the doctor’s stare following him off to Gryffindor tower.)

o.o.o.o.o

“I need to speak with Aunt Karin, or my parent. It’s about soul fragments, Uncle Juugo. Yes, the Riddle problem.”

o.o.o.o.o

When Hermione and Penelope Clearwater got petrified, things took a turn for the worse in all sorts of ways. Harry figured the _absolute_ worst was avoided by, well…

It went like this.

The Quidditch match was cancelled. The petrified girls were discovered. Everything was, more or less, looking terrible. Rumors were circling that Dumbledore was going to get sacked, or arrested, or any number of things, and Harry went to lunch feeling sick, sicker than he had in a while, which was saying something. He made plans with Ron to sneak out to see Hagrid and ask some questions, got a little distracted by the announcement of a curfew, and then got _very_ distracted when the doors to the Great Hall slammed open.

Those doors were massive. Slamming them open was hard.

“Mitsuki!” A redheaded woman stood in the doorway, and she looked… angry, probably. Irritable, maybe? She didn’t seem happy, but there was an air about her like “annoyed at the universe” was her natural state of being.

“Aunt Karin! You got my messa—”

The woman, who didn’t really seem old enough to be an aunt to a man of Dr. Oto’s age (but Harry ignored that, since he’d learned that wizards aged at different rates than muggles, and this could have just been an extreme case; the woman looked to be in her mid-thirties), cut him off with a stream of rapid, angry Japanese. At least, Harry thought it was Japanese. Dr. Oto had mentioned once, during a visit to the Hospital Wing, that it was his mother tongue.

“Ahem.” Professor Dumbledore interrupted with a cough. “Might I ask your name?”

“…Karin Uzumaki. I’m Mitsuki’s aunt. I’m here as the Oto family representative for investigations as to the recent situation at your school.” Her voice was, when calm, low and mostly smooth, but what really shocked Harry was the heavy hints of an accent that would have been likelier seen in the Southern US. Refined, sure, but still. Very country. “I’m stonewalling your Board of Governors, by the way. I’ll also need to speak with Mitsuki.”

Mutters roamed the room, because nobody had forgotten the information that those who did their research had spread at the start of term. They all knew about the Oto family by now.

“Aunt Karin, when you say stonewalling…”

“They’re terrified of me. Can’t imagine why.” The woman, Ms. Uzumaki, rolled her eyes and started walking towards the teachers’ table. The students did not display much subtlety when they leaned away from her.

“Did you threaten them?”

“No. Threatened Suigetsu over the phone in hearing range of them, but he was being an ass.” Ms. Uzumaki said, and then came to a stop right in front of Dumbledore, turning her attention fully on him instead. “Headmaster Dumbledore, if there’s a chance we could speak in private? Or at least, more privacy than this. I wouldn’t care about the professors sitting in.”

It took a few seconds, but Dumbledore nodded, looking grave. Harry wasn’t sure what was going on, but… the ghosts were watching, quiet and still, which infected the rest of the room with similar silence. The Ravenclaw House ghost, a beautiful woman with long, dark hair, floated forward to Ms. Uzumaki’s side, whispering to her.

Harry had no idea what this woman did to command the respect of even Peeves and the Bloody Baron.

“She hasn’t changed at all,” came the whispered sigh from Nearly-Headless Nick, carrying easily in the near-total silence.

“You know her?” Harry whispered, and Nick nodded.

“Though the Grey Lady knows her best.”

Harry… Harry didn’t ask any more questions, too caught up in his own thoughts.

o.o.o.o.o

Harry was there when Malfoy tried to corner Ms. Uzumaki, talking up his father’s role and power, and trying to… Harry wasn’t actually sure what he was trying to do. Set up a meeting with Ms. Uzumaki and his father, maybe.

“Do I look like I give a shit?” She interrupted after two and a half sentences, stalling Malfoy out. It was an effective tactic, given that it made the Slytherin gape in shock for a second.

“E-excuse me?”

“I said, do I look like I give a shit? About your daddy, your blood status, anything.” The redheaded woman leaned forward until she was eye-level with Malfoy. “Look me in the eye, and tell me: is this the face of someone gives a single flying fuck about what you have to say?”

Malfoy was once more relegated to staring in shock.

“Aunt Karin, the boy is _thirteen_. Let him live a little.” Dr. Oto came up to Ms. Uzumaki’s side and put a hand on her shoulder, guiding her back to standing fully straight. His accent had also started to shift to something more American, which Harry thought was weird, but… well, some people probably just picked up accents faster than others, right?

“He’s an obnoxious brat.” The woman muttered, but turned to Dr. Oto and produced a manila folder full of papers that Harry hadn’t seen before. “Not a scroll, not tech, but here. You’ll be interested to see what we found of—”

“Is this the result of the placental stem cell studies we were doing?” Dr. Oto asked as he took the file and flipped it open. “That’s… the blinded Chinese Fireball. I thought we’d written her off as a lost cause?”

“Sasuke decided to try again. You know how he gets about eyes. But look at the changes to the degeneration pattern in the optic nerve.” The woman took a step closer, now completely ignoring all the students around her, Malfoy and Harry included, and pointing at something on the papers.

Harry wondered, in the back of his mind, why he thought it was so funny that she’d brought a manila folder and printed paper instead of a scroll or parchment. It just looked so utterly _muggle_ , and in the middle of Hogwarts, that was…

“Weird,” Ron muttered. “Mate, do you have any idea what they’re—”

“No.”

“Bugger.”

o.o.o.o.o

The spiders were a bad idea.

Hagrid’s arrest may have been delayed and brought up closer to the castle for Ms. Uzumaki to argue the issue, along with Dumbledore’s sacking, but Harry and Ron still followed the spiders.

It was _such_ a bad idea.

“You boys are in so much trouble.” Dr. Oto’s now-familiar voice greeted them when the Ford Anglia finally dumped them outside of the forest. The amusement in his tone matched that on his face, when Harry looked up, even if the moonlight didn’t give him much to work with. “Come on, up you get. I’ll be the one setting your detentions.”

Harry wanted to collapse back on the grass and groan, but got up and trudged back to the castle instead. Ron followed him.

o.o.o.o.o

“He’ll be useless.” Harry commented as they pushed Lockhart into Moaning Myrtle’s bathroom. “Literally any other teacher would be more useful. Even _Filch_ would be more useful, and he hates kids enough that I’m half-convinced he’d offer us up as snacks to the Basilisk instead of doing anything to help.”

“He’s the best we’ve got, though. Only one we can bully into helping us save Ginny.” Ron’s voice was stubborn, angry. Harry didn’t know what having a sister would be like, but he thought he could maybe imagine what Ron was feeling. Maybe if he compared it to how he’d feel if someone kidnapped Hermione?

 “Alternatively, you could try to convince someone who actually has experience in these matters to help.”

At this point, Harry wasn’t sure why he was letting himself be surprised anymore. Dr. Oto kept _showing up_.

“What do you mean, experience in these matters?” Lockhart asked, looking suspicious. This had the odd effect of making Ron, who had also looked suspicious, suddenly get very conflicted as he instinctively wanted to disagree with Lockhart, but didn’t want to stop being suspicious of “the creepy doctor that talks to snakes.”

“I mean, you are planning to find a _giant snake._ One which, might I remind you, none of you have any experience subduing.” The doctor strode forward. “Moreover, the two of _you_ are still schoolchildren, while Gilderoy’s specialties lie in mental magics, not anything to do with large creatures.”

“And you?” Ron challenged, ignoring the stiffening at his side of Lockhart himself.

A peculiar glint entered Dr. Oto’s eyes. “I’ve spent a lot of time with magical creatures. Uncle Juugo is quite fond of them.”

“Which ones?”

“All of them.” Dr. Oto smiled. “Now, Mr. Potter, I believe I heard you were planning on opening up the Chamber of Secrets?”

Harry gulped and turned towards the sinks.

o.o.o.o.o

“ _Oh, now aren’t you just_ gorgeous _…_ ” Dr. Oto practically cooed as the Basilisk came slithering out of the statue. Harry figured that even if Lockhart and Ron couldn’t understand the man, there was something obvious in his tone and attitude. “ _What’s that soul fragment been doing to you? If you wanted a meal, all you had to do was ask. I’d have found you a nice cow, or perhaps a pig? I’m sure the House Elves could have rustled up something nice and meaty for you.”_

The Basilisk had seemed intimidating at first, especially with how quickly Harry had snapped his eyes shut, and he figured the others had done the same. Now, though…

“How… how are you not dead of its gaze?” Riddle sounded offended.

“Her. _Her_ gaze. As for your question… my family has been pushing the limits of science and the human body for longer than this country has existed.” Dr. Oto seemed… cold. Harry couldn’t see his face, but he’d never heard the man sound so condescending. “We’ve tied ourselves to snakes, and them to us, for the same amount of time. When it comes to this…”

He switched to Parseltongue, fake cheer ringing through his words as he sing-songed, “ _Anything you can do, I can do better!”_

The rest of the night proceeded similarly.

o.o.o.o.o

“You dumbasses.”

This was how Ms. Uzumaki greeted them as Fawkes flew them out of the pipe. She didn’t seem surprised or offended, just swept forward to check on Ginny like she didn’t trust Dr. Oto’s judgement. Nobody else was waiting for them.

“Ah, but I’m _your_ dumbass, Aunt Karin.”

“The rest of them aren’t. I’m not taking responsibility for this many children. Helping out with you was more than enough.” The woman shot back. “You, girl. Ginny, right? What can you tell me about what happened to you?”

Ginny tried to answer, and instead burst into tears.

“You broke her.”

“Shut up, brat.”

“She’s _crying_ , Aunt Karin. I almost forgot how bad you are with stranger’s kids. H—”

“ _If you don’t shut the fuck up, I’m going to rip off your arms and shove them up your ass, you little prick.”_

Harry choked on thin air. Literally no one else had any idea what Ms. Uzumaki had said when she whirled around to hiss at Dr. Oto in Parseltongue, but Harry knew. He didn’t want to, but he knew.

“Mate, you okay?”

“Yeah, I just… she said something weird.”

“Tch.” Ms. Uzumaki scoffed, and then turned back to Ginny, who _hadn’t stopped crying yet_. Harry was concerned. He did not know how to handle crying girls. He didn’t know how to handle a crying anybody. “Ronald, right? Get over here and comfort your sister.”

Ron looked about as confident in his ability to comfort Ginny as Harry would have, but trudged over and hugged his sister from behind, glaring at Ms. Uzumaki once he did.

“Okay. Sorry kid, it’s been a while since I treated someone who wasn’t… anyway.” Ms. Uzumaki made a quiet huffing noise. “I’m going to have to ask you some questions, and I’d like for you to answer them as best you can. Don’t worry if you can’t answer right now, or at all. We can follow up later if we have to.”

“We could also do this somewhere that _isn’t_ a bathroom.” Dr. Oto pointed out. “I’m fairly certain one of the teachers could loan their office.”

Fawkes made a trilling noise and lifted into the air from his perch on a wall light.

Dr. Oto and Ms. Uzumaki exchanged a look.

“I never learned to speak bird.”

“No shit.” Ms. Uzumaki got up and dusted off the knee-high socks that she was wearing under her ruffled skirt. “Lead the way, then. And, ah, Ginny? If you’re still feeling ill, I could carry you.”

“I can walk.”

o.o.o.o.o

Harry could _feel_ the disapproving stares being levelled on everyone in the room as they trooped in. He could feel those stares diminish as the Weasley parents immediately started hugging Ginny, but they didn’t disappear. Funnily, he got the feeling they were mostly aimed at the adults.

“I’ll explain,” Dr. Oto offered, and proceeded to recount the entirety of their adventure. He didn’t skimp on details, and Harry winced more than once during the telling.

Ron added at the end that he still didn’t know why Fawkes had shown up.

“The castle sent him.” Dr. Oto said as he stroked the phoenix’s back. “She knew we’d need a way out, so she sent the one who could hear her calls.”

“Is that why… _she_ came to find you as well?” Mrs. Weasley asked, gesturing at Ms. Uzumaki, with the awkward air of a person who had forgotten the name of someone they’d only recently been introduced to.

“No,” the woman in question answered curtly. “I sensed my nephew going below ground with several other people and concluded there would be a need for medical attention. Clearly, I wasn’t wrong.”

“I could have handled it myself.”

“Bullshit.”

“Language, Auntie.”

Harry suddenly realized that he found himself torn between hating and respecting these people.

So very, very torn.

o.o.o.o.o

“Uzumaki.” Lucius Malfoy said as Harry left Dumbledore’s office, voice filled with something that could have been loathing if it weren’t so polite. “I wasn’t expecting you to still be here.”

“It looks like we’re going to be checking in a bit more on the school in the future. The head of the family can’t bear to see a good investment go to waste.” Ms. Uzumaki drawled, leaning against a wall. Dr. Oto was right behind her, smiling away politely. “With everything that’s happened this year and the last, it seems things are going to be getting… exciting.”

Mr. Malfoy’s lips twitched downward almost imperceptibly. “I see.”

“Hmph.” Ms. Uzumaki pushed away from the wall and headed towards the railing that opened onto the empty body of the castle. “Word of advice, maybe teach your son a bit more about persuasion tactics that don’t rely on name-dropping or negging.”

The woman punctuated that statement by stepping onto the railing and jumping over it, a motion that Dr. Oto quickly followed. Harry didn’t bother rushing to see if they’d survived; he’d learned his lesson last time. On the other hand, Mr. Malfoy did go to see, probably out of morbid curiosity. This was the point at which Harry noticed Dobby.

And well… there was really only one way for events to play out, after that.

o.o.o.o.o

“We’re back,” Karin called as she opened the millennia-old doors that lead to the central building of New Otogakure. “And boy, have we got news.”

The only person in the entry hall was Kabuto, who was reading a magically-imported newspaper. “Unless it involves the protective Fuuinjutsu around the Elemental Nations breaking down and rendering the Hidden Continent no longer _hidden_ , I doubt I care.”

“You were right, though.” Mitsuki said, tossing himself down on the couch and dropping the internally enlarged bag he’d used to bring his things on the ground. “Voldemort is stirring up trouble again, and on exactly the schedule you predicted.”

“That wasn’t exactly _difficult_ ,” Kabuto countered. “He’s a very predictable person.”

 “Still calling himself the heir of Slytherin, too.” Karin snorted, yanking off her boots and stretching. “God, I hate long-distance portkeys. Give me a Hiraishin seal any day.”

“You _invented_ portkeys,” Suigetsu called from the hallway as he made his way in. “You don’t get to complain about how uncomfortable they are.”

“Fuck you and the horse you rode in on.” Karin didn’t even bat an eyelid. “And seriously, how long have we been working on countering the rumor that Slytherin even _had_ heirs other than, well…”

“I think we gave up around seven centuries ago, when Sasuke decided infusing random objects with his Rinnegan powers was a good idea for some reason.” Suigetsu grinned.

“That,” Sasuke said, appearing in the doorway, “was me _fiddling_. You were the one that pretended to be Death and handed them over to group of random wizards.”

“They wrote _fables_ about that day.” Suigetsu’s grin only widened. “Children’s tales! How awesome is that?”

Karin kicked him off the couch. Suigetsu squawked.

“You’re almost two and a half thousand years old,” Juugo said as he entered the room, drying off his hands with a dish towel. “And yet you still act like children.”

“Thank you for being the voice of reason.” Kabuto muttered, shifting over enough to make room for Juugo. “Any other news?”

“The Malfoys are still prats?” Karin offered, sagging until her head lolled over the back of the couch, and she stared at the ceiling. “The elder one is afraid of me, which is hilarious. And Helena’s just as lovely as ever.”

“Don’t fuck the ghost, Karin.” Suigetsu teased.

“Please, like you never tried.” She didn’t even move her head.

“I… shut up.”

“That’s enough, children.” Orochimaru swept into the room, taking his own seat in a cushy armchair. “I’m guessing you have news?”

“Yeah, the latest generation of your experiments from the tenth century is a giant piece of trash.” Karin told him. “But you already knew that.”

Orochimaru did not pinch the bridge of his nose or sigh, but he did turn to look at Mitsuki instead. “Anything?”

“They still respect us.” Mitsuki shrugged. “Mostly because of the money, but there’s respect for the history, too. None save for the ghosts have figured out we’re immortal, but…”

“Only a matter of time, with image-capture technology marching on as it has.” Orochimaru sighed. “Well, we were never planning on keeping it a secret forever. We’d have been much more careful with portraits and the like if that were our goal.”

“To be fair, whoever you asked to make the statue in the Chamber took an absolutely ridiculous amount of artistic license.” Mitsuki pointed out.

“That was Godric’s doing, actually.”

“…I’m not nearly as surprised as I should be.”

“Do you think they’d start figuring it all out if you showed up?” Suigetsu asked, lounging lengthwise on the couch he’d claimed. “Like, you don’t put a lot of effort into hiding it.”

“I’m sure a rumor would start eventually.” Orochimaru allowed. “Though I would personally prefer waiting.”

“For the appropriate dramatic moment, as per usual.” Sasuke sighed. “Just like a Sannin, really. With what little I learned of Jiraiya, and with what I know of Tsunade from her… visits—”

“She’s the only other person from our time left, Sasuke. The only one older than Orochimaru-sama, too. Show a little respect.” Kabuto reprimanded.

“Says the man who once tried to kill her.”

“I was aiming for the apprentice, actually.”

“Enough,” Orochimaru cut them off. “But yes, there will _be_ an appropriate time to reveal that Salazar Slytherin was simply a pseudonym I used while aiding in the construction of the school. That time is not yet at hand. These people have twisted the words and teachings I left behind, even those who should know better, and we will remind them that I never actually advocated purity or any such nonsense eventually. For now, we will meddle more indirectly.”

Mitsuki smiled. “Oh, this is going to be fun.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, uh… Naruto universe plotline happened about 2400+ years before the Harry Potter timeline. Oto fam survived because Orochimaru has magic science, and Tsunade survived because… Tsunade. She's off doing her own thing.
> 
> There’s going to be more information at a later point about what the hell happened to the Elemental Nations (and why their tech was time-shifted over 24 centuries out of phase with everyone else), what Oto fam was doing before and after they meddled with Hogwarts, what Orochimaru’s actual goals/teachings/relationships at that time were like, what the current dynamics of the Oto fam are like, and so on. You can probably assume that the epilogue didn’t happen as in canon, other than Mitsuki existing, and Orochimaru getting distracted by becoming a really supportive suburban parent and dragging Team Taka into his projects.
> 
> Orochimaru is definitely nonbinary, by the way. He still uses he/him pronouns because of habit, since they don't cause him dysphoria, but he's nonetheless canon nb, so he's nb here too.
> 
> I’m going to keep writing this snapshot-style. If I think something is either too similar to canon to bother with, or is something that the reader can pick up on with a minimum of critical thinking, I’ll gloss over it. I’ll also gloss over things that are somewhat spoiler-y (like Merlin).


	2. Third Year

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the plot of the year is headed off so early that no one's really sure what to do with the rest of the year.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have been struggling with this chapter for MONTHS. Just... just take it. Please.

“You know,” someone said, taking a seat across from Harry. An accent lay thick on their tongue. “Most children your age would be ecstatic to be living alone the way you are.”

Harry looked up to see a man that was probably in his late thirties, with shaggy black hair and flat black eyes. He was definitely Asian and even more definitely smirking.

“Uh… who are you?”

The man stuck out a hand, “Sasuke Uchiha. You’ve met my nephew and my wife several times, though I doubt either of them mentioned me.”

“Harry Potter, and… no. I have no idea who your nephew is.” Harry reached out and shook the hand, noticing belatedly that the man’s other arm appeared to be missing. That was… huh.

“Mitsuki Oto would be the nephew.” Sasuke said, pulling back and laying his arm over his stomach in a way that indicated he’d be lacing his hands together if he had both. “And if you put a little thought into it…”

Harry considered it for a moment, and then paled. “You’re married to Ms. Uzumaki?”

The man grinned and laughed. “For quite a while now, yes. You seem surprised.”

“She… didn’t seem the type.” Harry said as delicately as he knew how. “And you seem very calm compared to her.”

“If you’d known the two of us at your age, you’d have a very different opinion.” Sasuke raised a hand to signal for a drink from Tom at the bar. “I was even worse at sixteen, of course, but that was… circumstantially complicated.”

Harry considered asking. He actually almost did ask. He then considered what he learned when he asked Dr. Oto questions last year, and very carefully _did not ask_.

Sasuke looked like he knew exactly what Harry was carefully not asking, and continued smirking even as his firewhiskey arrived and he took a sip.

…what a prick.

“In any case, I did come to tell you that she and I will be in the room next to yours for the time being.” Sasuke raised an eyebrow when Harry started to protest, and casually steamrolled over everything he said. “It’s a security precaution. You’ve been targeted twice in as many years, and while I doubt the Sirius Black situation is as simple as people are making it out to be, that’s the beginning of a pattern that I would not like to see continued.”

“…last year turned out alright.” Harry tried to argue back instead of acknowledging the point.

“Last year you had Mitsuki there, keeping an eye out on you and all of your classmates,” Sasuke said. “You’re children, and untrained ones at that. You need looking-out for.”

Harry made a face.

“If you keep making that expression, your face will stick that way.” Sasuke said with a grin. Harry was already starting to hate it.

“Harry!”

At the sound of his name, Harry turned around, eyes already widening. “Ron? What are you—”

“Blimey, mate, we had to hear from the Ministry what you did to your aunt. She deserved it, right?” Ron only belatedly seemed to notice Sasuke. “Uh… who’re you?”

“Ronald!” Mrs. Weasley bustled up behind both boys, tone disapproving. “I’m terribly sorry, Mr…?”

“Uchiha.” Sasuke stood with a smile that Harry would have called charming if he were more used to such descriptions, and shook Mrs. Weasley’s hand. “Sasuke Uchiha, pleasure to meet you. I believe you’ve met my wife before, Karin?”

Mrs. Weasley’s eyes lit up in recognition, though there was something still held back in her expression. Harry figured that her opinion on Ms. Uzumaki was just as torn as everyone else’s. “Yes, we met. She helped provide some healing during the… incident last year.”

“…Yes, the incident.” The smile is gone now, but there’s something… it’s not quite _amusement_ , but something wry and tired, maybe. “We’re going to see what we can do to prevent this sort of thing from happening again, going forward. With Quirrel the year before, and the Chamber last year, I wouldn’t be surprised if this year somehow wound up more complicated and dangerous for Mr. Potter than the breakout would already suggest.”

Harry wondered what the prison breakout had to do with _him_. Then again, all the papers said that Sirius Black was one of Voldemort’s most ardent supporters, so with Harry’s luck, that meant he would be hunted again this year. Great.

“—course, the basilisk has been moved somewhere that renders it harmless to humans but doesn’t violate any ethical concerns regarding animal abuse.” Sasuke was saying when Harry tuned back in to the conversation. “We’re better equipped to handle it safely than most, as I’m sure Mitsuki explained.”

“He did say you had a number of Salazar Slytherin’s writings in storage. You’ve been using those, then?”

“Not quite. Progress has been made since the time of the Founders. We have better options, now. More humane, as well.” Sasuke assured her. “In any case, Karin will be spending time at Hogwarts this year to keep an eye on the Sirius Black situation.”

“Keep an eye on it?” Molly repeated quietly. “What do you mean by that?”

“She’s very skilled at knowing where people are, and she’ll be using that skill to keep the children safe. As good as Hogwarts’s wards are at detecting intruders, she’s better.” Sasuke told Molly, with the kind of pride that Harry guessed was a normal thing in healthy marriages.

(And… well, as much as he hated the Dursleys, he had to admit that their marriage was, as far as he could tell, a good one. They were terrible people and awful at childrearing, of course, but their marriage seemed fine to his untrained eyes, at least.)

(Maybe having Harry there as a scapegoat helped.)

“Is that a compliment I hear?”

Harry flinched in his seat. It wasn’t that Ms. Uzumaki scared him, not the way that certain other adults did, but he’d had no idea that she was two feet behind him, and that was _freaky_.

“Karin.” Sasuke pecked the woman on the lips as she came into view and stood by him, slipping under his arm. “We were just—”

“Talking about security plans, I heard.” Ms. Uzumaki shifted the glasses on her nose and peered down at Harry. “I’m not going to stop you from doing particularly stupid shit—”

“ _Karin_ ,” Sasuke’s arm tightened visibly on his wife’s shoulder, and Mrs. Weasley gasped.

(Ron made a funny little choking noise.)

“They’re thirteen, Sasuke, if they say they haven’t heard some bad language by now, then they’re lying.” Ms. Uzumaki waved his concerns off. “Anyway. Not gonna stop you, because I know what it’s like to be a teenager getting involved in dangerous situations I really should have stayed out of—”

“I _said_ I was sorry.”

“—but at the least, I do ask that you tell me if you’re going to go ahead and do the things your teachers tell you not to anyway.” Ms. Uzumaki kept talking, though a smile quirked at the edge of her lips as she elbowed her husband in the ribs. “I’ll know where you are most of the time regardless, of course, but not necessarily what it is that you’re doing.”

“We do have respect for your privacy.” Sasuke assured them. “But Karin’s skills are… well, much like you can’t help but know what’s going on in the next room when the walls are thin, simply because you can hear every shuffle of papers or creak of footsteps, she can’t help but know what’s going on for a _much_ wider area.”

“That’s a bit of an understatement.” Ms. Uzumaki muttered under her breath.

“So you’ll be keeping the students safe?” Mrs. Weasley pressed. Harry heard the earnest _so you’ll be keeping my children safe?_ underneath that.

“Of course.” Ms. Uzumaki assured her. “And… I know this may seem presumptuous, but may I possibly speak with your daughter? I’d like to check up on her health, if you don’t mind.”

“She’s been perfectly fine since she came home. A little shaken up, but physically—”

“It’s not the physical health we’re worried about.” Ms. Uzumaki interrupted. “It’s the ‘shaken up’ part, and some potential residual magic.”

Mrs. Weasley lost the sharp tinge of disapproval that had colored her expression after being interrupted. “She hasn’t gone mad, if that’s what you’re implying.”

“I’d appreciate it if you didn’t use that phrasing in regards to mental illness.” Sasuke said, his tone pleasantly bland.

Mrs. Weasley almost responded, but something in Sasuke’s expression must have stopped her. Harry couldn’t see it from here, but there had to be something, right?

“Mental illness takes many forms, and while all of them make life more difficult for the person who has them, almost all are, to some degree, treatable, and none of them are inherently deserving of one’s disgust or derision.” Sasuke said evenly. “Trust me when I say that I’ve seen all kinds of mental illnesses manifest in all kinds of people. It’s nothing to be ashamed of, just something to work on before it ruins the patient’s life.”

“Considering the frequency of PTSD in our former line of work and how many disorders it’s comorbid with, this isn’t exactly much of a surprise.” Ms. Uzumaki said.

“Plus it runs in my family, sort of.” Sasuke lifted his arm away from Ms. Uzumaki’s shoulders and scratched the back of his head. “Conditional on a few factors, of course, but at least one or two of those factors were near ubiquitous for those who entered the family business.”

“In any case, what we’re looking for isn’t really anything to worry too deeply about. Unless our estimations are off, what we’re going to find are whatever levels of trauma you may have observed since your daughter returned home, and a few potential magical side effects to the possessions she underwent.” Ms. Uzumaki crossed her arms, and her fingers went tap-tap-tapping against her upper arm. “Of course, if we find what we’re looking for, we’ll tell you. Patient-doctor confidentiality is important, but she _is_ a minor, so the legal obligation is there.”

“Since when have you cared about legal obligation?” Sasuke muttered.

“Shut up, sweetie.” Ms. Uzumaki lightly kicked up one leg back and around to knock against the back of Sasuke’s knee. It must have been about as friendly as it looked, because Sasuke didn’t shift at all, and just snorted instead. “So, Mrs. Weasley, does this option sit well with you?”

“I… suppose that would be alright.” Mrs. Weasley frowned. “Would I be able to come sit in on the examination?”

“It’s not an examination, as such. More of a short talk, and that’s really done best one on one.” Ms. Uzumaki grimaced. “A parent’s presence can set a child at ease at some ages, but as one gets older…”

The longer Harry sat here, the less he felt like he was supposed to be hearing any of this.

“Very well, then.” Mrs. Weasley finally said. “But I expect actual answers once you’re finished, you hear me?”

“No problem at all.” Ms. Uzumaki assured her again.

o.o.o.o.o

“Harry?”

Harry had hung around the Weasleys as much as possible as summer headed towards inevitable conclusion, but it was constantly with the uncomfortable knowledge that Ms. Uzumaki and her husband were always within spying distance.

Well, “guarding” distance, but it amounted to the same thing. They even followed him to Fortescue’s, drinking coffee while Harry tried to do his homework with Ron as they ate ice cream while finishing up last-minute assignments before school started again, and before they had to face Hermione’s disapproval.

Harry looked up and blinked as he once again faced the sun instead of a paper on a table. “Ginny?”

“I, um.” She took a shaky breath. “I was wondering if I could talk to you for a bit? Um, privately?”

Harry exchanged a glance with Ron, who shrugged. He turned back to Ginny. “Sure. I feel like taking a break anyway.”

“Okay. Thanks.” Ginny led him away to a quieter corner of the outdoor seating area in front of Fortescue’s, and took a seat at one of the tiny tables there. Harry followed suit.

“So, what’s this about?”

Ginny bit her lip and fiddled with a strand of her hair. “So… last year. The diary.”

Harry felt something in his stomach twist. “Yeah?”

“When… when Tom possessed me, he did it to free the Basilisk. And to get to the Basilisk, he had to give me the ability, even if it was temporary, to speak Parsletongue. Except, er, it wasn’t exactly temporary?” Ginny’s voice was nearly inaudible by the end, and she’d scrunched in on herself completely.

Harry parsed through what she’d said. He reminded himself that there were people nearby, _especially_ Ms. Uzumaki and her husband, and then asked quietly, “You can still speak to snakes?”

Ginny nodded rapidly, face red. She looked like she was about to cry. Harry did not know what to do with a crying girl.

“Okay.” He sat back and tried to process that. “Okay. You’re still a Parselmouth. And you told me because I am too?”

Ginny nodded again. “Ms. Uzumaki said it would help me feel better if I used it with someone my own age, because then I would start, um…” She scrunched up her face, trying to remember the words. “It would help me process the trauma by learning to associate elements of the experience with more positive memories and interactions.”

Harry blinked. “Oh. Okay. Er, who else knows?”

“My parents. Ms. Uzumaki asked me if she could tell Dr. Oto, and I said okay. And I guess her husband might know, since she said she could connect me to other people who spoke it, but nobody except you is actually a kid.”

“I’m a teenager now.” Harry protested, which startled a laugh out of Ginny. That was a good thing, right? Harry hadn’t meant to do that, but it was a good thing.

“So, um, do you think we could… just find each other and—and talk? In P-parseltongue? Not a lot, or super often, but—”

“I think that would be a good idea, yeah.” Harry scratched the back of his head. It sounded okay? And Ginny wasn’t wrong when she said that having _good_ memories to put with Parseltongue would help with something. “I have to go back to doing homework now, though. If you still aren’t done with yours, you could join Ron and me?”

“I promised Mum I’d help her with something.” Ginny got to her feet and smiled at him, even if it was a little wobbly. “Maybe once we’re at school?”

“Yeah, that works.”

“See you?”

“See you.”

Harry went back to his homework, if a little more distracted than before, and tried to ignore Ron’s questions (because it wasn’t really his information to share).

“ _Adorable_ ,” he heard Ms. Uzumaki hiss at the edge of his hearing. “ _Don’t you think, Sasuke?_ ”

“Hn.”

o.o.o.o.o

Dementors, Harry decided, were awful.

The new Professor, Lupin? He was a decent bloke.

(He gave them _chocolate._ )

Harry had almost let himself calm down again after the dementors left, but ended up rapidly tensing as an angry woman’s yelling floated down the corridors.

“—even _think_ of sending those creatures onto a train full of children?” Ms. Uzumaki demanded, sounding like she was coming closer as she strode down the corridor. There were startled cries as door after door snapped open and shut. “Not a single one of them knows how to fight these damn things off, and you know damn well how unstable your control over them is, so what in the name of all that is holy possessed you to _send them onto the goddamn train?_ ”

The door to Harry’s compartment slammed open, and there stood Ms. Uzumaki. Her eyes ticked over the occupants, landing on Professor Lupin.

There was a phone in her hand, small and compact and weirdly futuristic-looking. She had it held up to her ear, and Harry had no idea if something that small could even _work_ without magic.

“I’m going to go now,” Ms. Uzumaki declared. “Goodbye, Minister.”

Harry wondered if that meant she’d been talking to Fudge.

She dropped the phone from her ear, pressed something on the smooth, flat screen, and then put it away.

“Is everyone alright?” She asked, looking around the compartment again. “Ginny, Harry, Remus?”

 _Remus_. Harry supposed that had to be the new teacher.

“Ah…” the new professor looked surprised. “Karin Uzumaki?”

“Yeah, that’s me.”

( _What’s going on?_ Ron mouthed at Harry, who shook his head and shrugged instead of trying to answer through a mouthful of chocolate. Hermione took the initiative to lightly smack Ron on the arm and indicate that he should keep quiet before Ms. Uzumaki noticed them.)

“The dementors…” the new professor started to say. “They shouldn’t—”

“No, they shouldn’t.” Ms. Uzumaki’s mouth is a thin line, bloodless and utterly unamused. “Which is why I’ll be having _words_.”

“With the Minister of Magic.” The new professor said, sounding dubious.

“Of course,” Ms. Uzumaki’s frown deepened a little. “If he doesn’t listen, I’ll just ask my boss to take care of it.”

“The head of the—”

“Yes,” Ms. Uzumaki cut him off with a smile that seemed devoid of any actual humor. “Now… Potter? Weasley?”

“Yeah?” Ron answered.

“Not you, your sister.” Ms. Uzumaki waved him off. “Ginevra, yes?”

“Just Ginny,” she said. “I don’t like using my full name.”

“Mm. You two are alright, then?” She asked, propping her hands on her hips and wrinkling the fabric of the weird long jacket she had on. Harry wondered why she was wearing a jacket that showed so much of her stomach when it was this cold inside the train, and too hot for a jacket at all outside, but whatever. Adults were weird.

“I’m _fine_ ,” he insisted. The chocolate that the new professor (Lupin?) had given them actually had helped, and he felt much better already.

“I think I’m going to be okay.” Ginny said, scooting a little closer to Hermione on the seat. “Um. Are you going to stay here the entire ride?”

“Hell no.” Ms. Uzumaki shook her head, and stark red hair flew all over for a moment. It was almost as unruly and spikey as Harry’s, and probably only stayed as flat as it did because of its own weight. “I’ve got shit to do.”

“Ms. Uzumaki,” Lupin said, like he wanted to admonish her but was hesitant for some reason.

“They’re teenagers; I’m sure they’ve heard worse. I was only here to check up on the students that would be most at-risk from a Dementor being in the vicinity. Now, if you’ll excuse me,” she stepped back and through the door again, closing it just a little harder than necessary.

Harry wondered what that was all about.

o.o.o.o.o

Ms. Uzumaki was introduced to the school, mostly likely to at least provide some explanation as to why she was even there. Harry wasn’t there to see it, but Ron told him and Hermione about it afterwards. Apparently it hadn’t been nearly as exciting as her entrance last year, since all she done was sit at the table, stand up and glare while introducing herself, and then sit right back down to talk to Dr. Oto as soon as Dumbledore’s speech was done.

Kind of a relief, Harry thought on their way to Care of Magical Creatures. He didn’t much like what he saw when he got there, as Ms. Uzumaki was standing next to Hagrid, discussing… something.

“What’s she doing _here?_ ” Ron asked, sounding about as dismayed as Harry felt.

“Talking to Hagrid, I guess.” Harry shoved his hands a little deeper into his robe pockets. “I don’t _think_ she’s here for the class.”

Ms. Uzumaki’s eye slid over to look at Harry for a moment, one eyebrow raising, and her gaze snapped back to Hagrid just as his sentence finished.

“Mind if I stay?” She asked, loudly enough for Harry to hear. “I’m afraid I won’t be able to offer as much insight as Juugo would if he were here, but I’m sure I’d enjoy watching your classes. Until last year it was fairly rare for me to come out to the United Kingdom, or Europe in general.”

Considering the fact that her voice still carried that strong Southern accent, like America’s dust bowl at its finest, Harry could believe that.

He could also easily believe that the woman had chosen to stay behind _solely_ because she’d heard Ron and Harry discussing her, and wanted to mess with them.

(Harry had plenty of experience with adults being petty. He would believe anything they did out of spite.)

Harry’s attention waned in that regard, though, as Hagrid started the class. Malfoy was a prick, as per usual, and the creatures were dangerous but plausibly manageable if one was careful, as Harry would have expected for any class Hagrid managed, and the two things together were enough for Harry to stop paying attention to Ms. Uzumaki.

The flight was _definitely_ enough for him to stop paying attention, because that was simultaneously terrifying and completely awesome. Buckbeak was similarly terrifying and completely awesome. Harry almost wanted to go a second time, but also kind of never wanted to leave the ground again.

It was an interesting balance of feelings.

“Nicely done,” Ms. Uzumaki commended, eyes flicking to Buckbeak and then back to Harry.

“Er… thanks,” Harry said after a moment.

“Hm.” She readjusted her glasses and turned to observe the rest of the hippogriffs, lip curled.

Okay. That was… a little weird, sure. Not too terrible.

Hagrid divided them up into groups to practice with the Hippogriffs, and for a few minutes, Harry let himself get distracted again.

At one point, Malfoy’s voice floated back to him, a little nasal but mostly just infuriating, as per usual.

“—you great ugly brute?”

Harry almost didn’t see what happened.

What he knew was that Buckbeak reared back, Malfoy cried out, and between one moment and the next, Ms. Uzumaki was in between the two.

Before Harry could even process that, both Malfoy and Ms. Uzumaki were gone, and Buckbeak came down on empty air.

Hagrid ran over to calm down the angry hippogriff, while Harry and most of the class watched Ms. Uzumaki and Malfoy.

“What the _hell_ were you thinking?” She demanded.

“The beast attacked me, you s—”

“Child or not, I expect you to _listen to your professors_ ,” she told him, hands on hips and something uncomfortable in the air. “He repeatedly told you not to insult the hippogriff. So why, for the love of all that is good and holy, did you _insult the damn hippogriff?_ ”

Malfoy spluttered. “He attacked me!”

“And while that is a problem that does need to be addressed, you should also acknowledge that _ya done fucked up_.”

“Uzumaki,” Hagrid said from where he was working at calming down Buckbeak. “He’s a kid.”

“A damn annoying one who apparently can’t follow the _simplest fucking instruc—_ Mitsuki, what are you doing here?”

Harry blinked and turned and yep. Dr. Oto was standing right there, where he hadn’t been just a few seconds before.

“Aunt Karin,” he said, smiling in a way that was friendly and comforting and just a little overtly creepy. “Language.”

“Brat, I changed your diapers _and_ your older brother’s, and I was there for _both_ of your rebellious phases; you don’t get to tell me jackshit about my cursing.” Ms. Uzumaki seemed entirely unimpressed. “And why are you here?”

“A little bird told me something interesting was going on,” Dr. Oto said, sticking his hands in his pockets and taking a few steps forward. “And I got here to see that, well…”

He switched languages then, to what Harry assumed was Japanese. There was a lot of arguing, then, and gesturing at Malfoy and Hagrid and Buckbeak, and then Ms. Uzumaki threw her hands up in the air with a frustrated noise and stalked off, fuming. She paused only once.

“Rubeus, I’ll be contacting Juugo for you. I’m sure he’d love to discuss some things.”

Then she kept right on walking.

“Sorry about that,” Dr. Oto said, walking over to where Malfoy still hadn’t gotten up off the ground and holding out a hand. Malfoy took it unsurely and got hauled to his feet. “Aunt Karin’s never been all that good with kids, especially civilians like you lot. She’s very used to a culture where even children know to listen to safety instructions, because we’re taught from a very young age that if they aren’t followed, you’re going to get yourself killed.”

“That’s ridiculous,” Malfoy said.

Something in Dr. Oto’s eyes turned cooler, the warmth he carried in his gaze vanishing. “Just because a culture is not your own does not make it ridiculous, child.”

“I—” Malfoy cut himself off, looking confused and concerned. He shook his head and a sneer took over his face once again. “That doesn’t mean she can just play like she’s in charge here! Whatever it is that _your_ home is like, this is England.”

“Scotland,” at least three different students corrected a little indignantly. Malfoy shot them all a disgusted look, a _how dare you correct me_ , and then turned back to Dr. Oto.

“They’re not wrong,” Dr. Oto said, smiling.

It was a creepy smile, Harry thought. Unnerving, most certainly.

“Control her!” Malfoy demanded, stomping his foot a little melodramatically.

Dr. Oto laughed.

“Child, that woman _raised me_. I’ve known her since I was born, and while I can’t remember all of it, I can assure that she has always been terrifying, and there _is no controlling her_.” He shook his head. “More importantly, she is an adult woman, and there is no controlling adults unless you are either signing their paycheck or putting them in prison. I suppose there is _Imperio_ , but that’s a horrifying disruption of free will and illegal for a reason. Anyway, back to the issue at hand, which is this: with Karin, all anyone can really do is try to persuade her otherwise or compromise. And in that regard, I already succeeded. I got her to leave, didn’t I?”

Malfoy looked a little horrified. “You consider that a win?”

“Welcome to the real world; there is no winning, just losing a little less badly.” Dr. Oto patted Malfoy on the shoulder. “There you go, you’re fine. A little bruised on the elbows and around the ego, perhaps, but no injuries beyond that. You’re free to go back to class.”

He hummed. “I’ll try to talk to Aunt Karin about how she treats students. And Hagrid? Perhaps stress the dangers a little more next time, in case students are absentminded enough to forget, or choose to… space out.”

Malfoy looked even more offended now, with those particularly condescending words that were obviously directed at him, even if Hagrid was the one being addressed.

Harry tried not to enjoy it too much, because it was Dr. Oto, but… well, the one Harry disliked was Ms. Uzumaki, not Dr. Oto. Dr. Oto was just creepy and a little weird.

Harry let himself snigger along with the rest of the class as Malfoy started muttering threats about telling his father and so forth.

o.o.o.o.o

There were threats to have Buckbeak killed for attacking a student.

Then Buckbeak disappeared, and so did the threats.

Ms. Uzumaki had a very pleased smile on her face whenever Harry walked by her, looking at some paper in her hands.

Harry… didn’t want to know.

o.o.o.o.o

Harry was kind of surprised that neither of the Oto family members were present for the lesson with the Boggart.

o.o.o.o.o

The thing was that, after a while, Ms. Uzumaki started… disappearing. She was still present at the teacher’s table during meals, and she was occasionally seen in the halls, but it was… it was like her presence dimmed.  She grew cold and distant from everything, and while she wasn’t _nice_ before, there was a vivacity and fire that was just gone now. Her appearances near and around the castle grew fewer in number, and soon Harry started forgetting about her most of the time.

It was strange, given how she’d seemed to be _everywhere_ for the first few weeks.

“Maybe she misses her family?” Hermione suggested at dinner on day, glancing up at the grumpy redhead at the teacher’s table.

Harry frowned. “I don’t think she has anyone other than her husband. I mean, Dr. Oto calls her his aunt, but I don’t think any of them are actually related to each other.”

“That doesn’t make them stop being family,” Hermione said with a frown.

Harry figured that was probably true. Being related by blood certainly didn’t make the Dursleys act like family, after all, and the Weasleys weren’t related to him (that he knew, at least), and they acted like he was one of theirs no matter what, so…

Yeah, okay.

“So what do you th—”

The doors slammed open and Harry choked on his mouthful of chicken.

“Hey, crazy bitch!” The man standing in the doorway yelled, pointing an absolutely _massive_ sword at the teacher’s table. “Fight me!”

“There are _civilians_ nearby, you irresponsible, cock-sucking piece of shit!” Ms. Uzumaki yelled back without even a moment’s hesitation, surging to her feet. Harry gaped a little. So did most of the room.

“Oh please, like you’ve never munched ca—”

“Ahem,” Dumbledore interrupted, coughing into his fist. “There are children present.”

Both Ms. Uzumaki and the stranger paused and gave Professor Dumbledore a _look_ , and even near-identical raises of the eyebrow.

“Mr. Hozuki, I know it’s been quite some time since you visited the school, but please do be careful of your language and more violent tendencies.” Dumbledore smiled genially. “And Ms. Uzumaki, I’m sure we’ve had this talk before.”

“Tch,” Ms. Uzumaki crossed her arms and looked away. “All I did was escalate.”

“That’s just the adult way of saying ‘he started it!’” Mr. Hozuki drawled, and Ms. Uzumaki didn’t shout back, but… okay, so Harry’s eyesight wasn’t the best, but he was pretty sure her eye was twitching.

“Uncle Suigetsu, please,” Dr. Oto said, sounding rather tired.

“Whatever,” Mr. Hozuki said, waving the question away with another swing of his sword. Harry wondered how much that thing had to weigh, because it was _huge_ , but the man was moving it around like it was made of plastic as he talked. “Spar. Outside, now, unless you’re too chicken to—”

“I will rip out your spleen and _feed it to you_ ,” Ms. Uzumaki hissed, and it wasn’t even Parseltongue, just low and said with vitriol.

“You can _try_.” Mr. Hozuki grinned wide, and Harry flinched back at the sight of teeth filed down to sharpened points. He wasn’t the only one, either.

Ms. Uzumaki’s eyes were narrowed just slightly when Harry chanced another look at her, and then she was gone, a puff of smoke in her place.

“Wh—”

A slamming noise came from the doors, and Harry realized that Mr. Hozuki was gone as well.

An enraged scream and cackles of laughter floated in from outside, and Harry shuddered.

“I think,” Dr. Oto said, when it became clear that no one else would be commenting. “That it would be best if everyone refrained from going outside until they finished. They wouldn’t harm you intentionally, but it’s very easy to get caught in the crossfire.”

There was the agonizing screech of a multitude of rattling chains, and Harry flinched.

“ _Very_ easy,” Dr. Oto sighed.

o.o.o.o.o

Harry saw Ms. Uzumaki on his way out of the hall and on the way to class, and she seemed entirely unharmed. Her hair was messy, and there was dirt in strange places, but she looked unruffled in regards to her actual attitude and physically whole. The woman was leaning against a doorway, arms crossed, expression unimpressed, as she spoke with Mr. Hozuki.

“Merlin’s pants,” Ron whispered, and Harry turned to follow his gaze out the window.

The grounds were a mess. There were furrows in the ground like something enormous had raked its claws through, craters and hills and at least a three fires, with more smoldering piles of _something_ lying around. There would be more, Harry thought, if there wasn’t so much water where there shouldn’t have been.

“They did all that?” Harry whispered.

“I guess,” Ron answered. “Let’s just… let’s just go.”

They hurried off.

o.o.o.o.o

Halloween passed without incident.

Harry felt like there was something wrong about that, but couldn’t pinpoint why.

o.o.o.o.o

Three days after Halloween found Harry having breakfast with Hermione and Ron in the Great Hall. It also found Ms. Uzumaki striding down the path between tables towards them.

“Oh, bloody hell,” Ron swore. “What does she want now?”

Ms. Uzumaki came to a stop right behind Ron, and held out a hand. “Your rat, Mr. Weasley.”

Harry wondered, for just a moment, what the hell was going on.

Ron did the same, going by his spluttered squawk of, “ _What?_ ”

“Your rat,” she repeated. “I have reason to believe that he’s… not all that he seems.”

Ron jerked backwards, hands flying up to the pocket where Scabbers presumably was. “Why?”

“I told you already. He’s more than he—”

“Ow!” Ron yelped, flinching. Harry barely caught the sight of blood dripping from Ron’s finger before Scabbers dropped to the ground and started to flee between the feet of the students at the tables.

“Oh no you don’t,” Ms. Uzumaki hissed, pulling her wand out of her jacket and brandishing it like it was even more of a weapon than normal. “ _Accio!_ ”

Scabbers zoomed backwards towards them, and she caught him by the tail.

“I’m going to perform an animagus reversal spell,” she said, glancing at Ron dismissively. “If he’s just a rat, then he’ll be unharmed by it. If he’s who I think he is, then we’ll get to see his original, human form.”

Ron gaped. “You’re bloody _mental_.”

“Oh, absolutely, just not in the way you think, and not in concerns to this.” Karin tossed Scabbers into the air and pointed her wand at him as he reached the apex. A wordless spell and some blue light later, and the rat falling towards the ground was looking less and less like a rat every moment.

A man, balding and in tattered clothing, hit the ground.

Ms. Uzumaki smiled thinly. “Hello, Peter Pettigrew. I’d say it’s nice to meet you, but it really, really isn’t.”

o.o.o.o.o

Harry got the full story later, from Professor McGonagall. She told him of how Sirius Black had supposedly sold out Harry’s parents to Voldemort, and how he’d then supposedly gone after and murdered Peter Pettigrew.

One of those things had just been proven entirely untrue, and the other was being called into question as a result.

“So he might have spent twelve years in prison for no reason.”

“Unfortunately, Mr. Potter, it seems very likely.” Professor McGonagall stared down at her tea. “The case seemed so open-and-shut that, with all the other things going on at the time, no one even questioned the fact that he didn’t get a trial.”

“And right now he’s running around in the countryside with…no one to help him, basically.”

“I believe the Oto family has offered to help in that regard.”

Harry stared at her, wondering how that was meant to help make him feel better.

“They’re good at what they do and mean well, Mr. Potter.” Professor McGonagall sighed. “I know they are unnerving even at the best of times, but that family had been supporting the wizarding world for millennia. They helped found Hogwarts. As much as they are individually difficult to like, they do more good than people realize.”

“…I’ll trust you, Professor, but I don’t trust _them_.”

Harry couldn’t explain why, not entirely, not when he actually _did_ like Dr. Oto somewhat, but… the others he’d met were unnerving at the best of times, gave him goosebumps just by smiling, and overall just…

Harry didn’t know what the problem was, just that there _was_ one.

o.o.o.o.o

There were many things that could be said of Harry’s third year at Hogwarts. One of them, of course, was that it was _disturbingly_ calm after Halloween, compared to his first two years. Sharing this unease with Ron and Hermione only got him concerned looks.

“It’s not that I don’t believe you, Harry,” Hermione said on their way down to breakfast, “But it feels like you’re just looking for a reason to be suspicious even when there isn’t one.”

“Mate, I know you’re looking for a pattern or whatever, but maybe there really _isn’t_ anything weird going on,” Ron said, and the discomfort was evident on his face. “Maybe Scabbers was the only thing happening this year.”

“They’ve gotten into contact with Sirius Black, even,” Hermione reminded him. “So that won’t be a problem, and—”

“Harry!” Neville interrupted, running up to the trio. He shoved a slightly wrinkled newspaper into Harry’s hands. “Have you seen the paper?”

_Pettigrew Escapes Auror Custody Only Hours Before Trial!_

Harry turned the newspaper around to face Hermione and Ron, and his face felt… grimly satisfied. Was that something a person could feel? Because that was what Harry was feeling.

Ron buried his face in his hands with a groan, and Hermione’s lips thinned in a close mimicry of Professor McGonagall.

“Well, the Ministry certainly dropped the ball on that one,” she finally said. “This isn’t going to end well.”

“Does it ever?” Ron asked, heading for the Great Hall again. “Let’s see what’s going on.”

Mostly whispers, Harry noticed. Everyone seemed to be discussing Pettigrew now, much as they had the day after his reveal. With a bitter curiosity, Harry looked up at the teachers’ table.

He wasn’t surprised to see Ms. Uzumaki and Dr. Oto arguing with one another in furious, hushed whispers. Ms. Uzumaki looked about ready to attack someone, while Dr. Oto’s expression was as close to desperate as Harry had ever seen it.

But they didn’t do anything else, not right away, so Harry tore his gaze from the adults and focused on his food instead.

This may not have been the best idea, because he almost missed the drama. The only reason he managed to catch the start was that it began with Ms. Uzumaki shouting something in Japanese.

He turned to the teacher’s table in time to see her vault over the table and away from Dr. Oto, beginning to make long, purposeful, furious strides towards the doors. Harry figured that it had something to with Pettigrew.

Harry was not prepared for the sudden flash of light and absence of sound that led to a ghostly figure occupying the air in front of Ms. Uzumaki.

 _Not a ghost_ , was Harry’s immediate thought, despite the similarities. The new person was just… despite floating and being translucent and mostly human, he was just all wrong. He sat on the air with his legs crossed, glowed purple with tendrils of smoke, or something, anyway, wafting off of him, and had horns.

Also, Ms. Uzumaki didn’t usually react to ghosts by shrieking and jumping back in fear.

“Ootsutsuki-sama?” She managed after a few seconds, and Harry reached for his wand. If something scared this woman, he doubted he’d be able to do much himself, but it made him feel better to have it at his fingertips. Going by the none-too-subtle shifting and rustling around him, he wasn’t the only one that felt this way.

The ghostly figure began speaking, but Harry didn’t understand a word of it. Distantly, he noted that Dr. Oto had also come down from the teacher’s table, heading for Ms. Uzumaki and the floating man.

He seemed nervous. That didn’t bode well.

Harry watched, tense as hell, as Ms. Uzumaki gave a jerky nod every few moments in response to what she was being told. She didn’t acknowledge Dr. Oto’s hand when it landed on her shoulder, which wasn’t all that surprising. She hadn’t acknowledged anything at all since the ghost had appeared, despite the whispers from students and louder inquiries from the staff.

The ghostly figure disappeared, and Ms. Uzumaki took a deep breath, wide-eyed.

“Aunt Ka—”

“ _We have to tell Orochimaru,”_ she hissed out, and it took Harry a moment to realize she’d spoken in Parseltongue.

“ _But—”_

“I’ll be in my rooms,” she said in English, shaking off Dr. Oto and heading for the doors again. She looked paler than usual. “ _Looks like plans are changing._ ”

Dr. Oto looked worriedly after her, then glanced at Dumbledore.

He hurried out after Ms. Uzumaki.

“What the bloody hell just happened?” Ron asked loudly, and the only reason nobody noticed was because everyone else was saying the same thing, or close enough.

o.o.o.o.o

Ms. Uzumaki left that night, unnoticed, and didn’t return until after the holidays. Any questions posed to the teachers or Dr. Oto were deflected or shut down, and no information turned up.

o.o.o.o.o

Harry learned more about Sirius Black.

o.o.o.o.o

Harry lost his broomstick to the Whomping Willow, and got a new one from an unknown source.

o.o.o.o.o

The Dementors still did not leave.

o.o.o.o.o

Ms. Uzumaki sat in on Harry’s Patronus lessons, a book on the desk before her, seemingly ignoring the goings-on. She kept quiet enough that Harry almost forgot she was there until he had to pause for a break.

“Ms. Uzumaki?” Professor Lupin said as Harry nibbled on his chocolate. “I don’t suppose you have any pointers?”

 _Please tell me you’re here for a reason_ , Lupin’s tone said.

“I’ve gotten to the point where experience has rendered me numb to most fears and largely immune to mental magics as used by both dementors and boggarts,” she answered. “So I’m afraid my own approach to these situations isn’t something that’s going to work for you, kid.”

Harry struggled not to flinch at being addressed by the woman.

“So, what _is_ your boggart?” Harry asked, trying to deflect. He realized only belatedly, at the sight of her raised eyebrow, that that may not have been the question to use for such a purpose.

“My husband at sixteen,” she said after a long moment, turning back down to her book. She said it with such nonchalance that Harry almost didn’t register how _wrong_ it was.

“What?”

“Yeah, he was having a bad couple of months,” Ms. Uzumaki said, scratching down a note. “We’re over it.”

“…but that would be your _boggart?_ Your husband?”

“Well, it would represent him regressing to that incredibly dangerous mental state, so yes.” She looked up and raised an eyebrow. “And that’s all you’re getting of that story.”

Harry wasn’t sure how to feel about that. What had Sasuke _done?_

o.o.o.o.o

Harry knew that the stiff feeling in his spine was from seeing Dr. Oto and Ms. Uzumaki talking. He didn’t know _what_ they were talking about, but they had a scroll held between them and displeasure on their faces. Nothing good came from adults looking that shifty, but as hard as it usually was to deal with grown-ups being shifty, the Oto family was worse.

“Well, that’s certainly not a happy face.”

Harry sucked in a sharp breath and whirled on the spot.

Sasuke smiled down at him. “Hey, brat.”

Part of Harry wanted to argue against being called ‘brat.’ Most of Harry was busy wishing that he had some of his friends nearby for backup.

The part of Harry that took precedence, however, was the part that was staring at the blood on Sasuke’s face in horror.

“What—”

“Nothing to worry about,” Sasuke interrupted, still smiling. He looked amused at Harry’s clear bewilderment. “Most of it isn’t mine, anyway.”

That was in no way reassuring.

“Sasuke?” Ms. Uzumaki asked, and Harry could hear her coming over before she actually arrived. “What did you _do_ , challenge Kurama to a game of shogi?”

“Popped into New Konoha to see if they had anyone impressive,” he said, letting her manhandle him for the sake of a medical inspection. “The answer is ‘meh.’”

“Well, at least it was nothing properly dangerous,” she sighed. “You _did_ hold back, right?”

“Of course,” he assured her. “Can’t go destroying my old home just because some overconfident Jounin taunted me, right? Besides, there were civilians around. I held back almost as much as you and Suigetsu did here.”

Harry thought back to the ways the school grounds had looked after Mr. Hozuki and Ms. Uzumaki had fought, and shuddered internally. If that was what they were like when they held back, then he didn’t want to see them at full power.

“Hey, brat,” Ms. Uzumaki said, catching his attention. “You might wanna fuck off.”

A hand landed on his shoulder before he could say anything, and Dr. Oto steered him away. Harry was… not very inclined to argue this.

“You two have fun catching up,” Dr. Oto called over his shoulder. “I’ll make sure Mr. Potter here gets back to his dormitory safely. Can’t take risks with Pettigrew on the loose and whatnot.”

Ms. Uzumaki snorted derisively. “Cute.”

“By the way, Mitsuki!” Sasuke called, causing the doctor to halt. “Yamato woke up.”

“Oh?” Dr. Oto sounded genuinely surprised. “I suppose it’s been a decade and a half, but he normally stays down for longer.”

“You can ask him in person later,” Ms. Uzumaki said. “Now, if you’ll excuse us…”

“I’m sure I can, and yes, yes, we’re going.” Dr. Oto went back to pushing Harry up the hallway.

Harry wondered if maybe, just maybe, he should try to figure out what the hell these people were up to.

But… Dumbledore trusted them. Granted, Dumbledore also trusted _Snape_ , but the Oto family appeared to be equal-opportunity assholes who didn’t care for much beyond each other, rather than evil.

o.o.o.o.o

“ _And then we got caught on the way down by Filch, because we’d left the Invisibility Cloak at the top of tower_ ,” Harry regaled Ginny with the story of Norbert in Parseltongue over breakfast. “ _We lost so many points that night. Everyone hated us.”_

_“Even the twins?”_

_“They were jealous, I think.”_

“Wow,” Ginny said, sitting back and considering that. “How many points?”

“Like… fifty each, I think. And Neville was there, so we lost a hundred and fifty total.”

“Merlin’s _pants_ , Harry.”

“I know,” he laughed. “ _Could have been worse, though. They could have caught us_ with _the dragon_.”

Ginny nodded, accepting that. “ _I’m… oh, hey, Malfoy’s walking this way.”_

Harry turned to look over his shoulder at the entrance to the hall, noting that yes, Malfoy had made his way in. Their eyes met, and Harry made a face.

“ _Look at me real quick,”_ Ginny said, and Harry turned to see her grinning. _“Now look back at him and laugh in one… two… three!_ ”

Harry turned back to Malfoy and forced up a laugh, and heard Ginny do the same behind him.

The laugh turned real after he saw Malfoy’s face twist in offended shock.

“ _Is he actually coming over?”_ Ginny asked, sounding delighted. “ _What is he even going to say?”_

Harry didn’t have time to answer.

“Potter!” Malfoy said, striding closer. “What are you laughing at?”

“Nothing,” Harry said, which was only a half-lie. He’d only started laughing when Ginny suggested it.

 _“Nice weather we’re having, huh?”_ Ginny said.

“ _It’s raining,”_ Harry muttered back, and grinned a little wider when he saw Malfoy’s face go a little red in anger.

“What are you saying?” Malfoy demanded.

“ _Do you think your new Firebolt’s going to help with the next game?”_ Ginny asked.

“ _Probably,_ ” Harry didn’t look away from Malfoy as he responded in Parseltongue.

“ _How many puns do you think I’d have to make before Percy started writing to mom about it to make me stop?”_

 _“Enough that you’d probably have to ask the twins for suggestions on more._ ”

“Potter!” Malfoy practically exploded. “Stop that!”

“Stop what? Talking? I’m pretty sure I’m not breaking any rules by talking,” Harry tried, and failed, to keep a serious expression.

“We’re busy, Malfoy. Leave us alone,” Ginny added to the conversation, sounding even less serious than Harry looked.

“You were spouting slander about me!” He accused.

“I don’t remember any slander. Ginny, do you?”

“Nope,” she said, popping the ‘p’.

Malfoy looked like he was about to explode. This was fun, Harry decided. There wasn’t even any actual slander, either, which only made it funnier.

“Not everything is about you, Malfoy,” Harry said as evenly as he could.

“ _Oh, this is totally about him. But that doesn’t mean we’re talking trash,_ ” Ginny drawled, and Harry didn’t turn to see her, but he could hear the laughter in her words.

Malfoy, of course, couldn’t understand _any_ of it.

“Is there a problem down here?” Professor McGonagall seemed to appear out of nowhere.

“No, Professor,” Harry answered. “Ginny and I were just talking, and then Malfoy showed up to yell about something.”

“You were talking about me!”

“We were talking about Harry’s adventures in the castle,” Ginny retorted. Harry glanced back to see her pouting. “Not everything is about _you_ , Malfoy.”

“Actually, that one did involve him, but only towards the end,” Harry corrected. “But I didn’t bring it up, because getting caught was the important part.”

“And why would this not be obvious to Mr. Malfoy?” McGonagall asked.

“We were speaking in Parseltongue,” Ginny said before Harry could think of a way around it. “Ms. Uzumaki suggested it before term to help with… some stuff.”

There was a pregnant pause.

“I see,” McGonagall finally said. “I believe that, while there is no need for detentions or loss of points in this case, it would be best for Mr. Malfoy to return to his table.”

She waited until Malfoy had moved to follow her instructions before turning back to Harry and Ginny. “ _Do_ refrain from baiting him in the future.”

She swept back up the aisle towards the teacher’s table.

Harry turned to look at Ginny, and they sized each other up for a long moment. Harry felt a snort of laughter struggled its way out of him, and within moments, he and Ginny were laughing uproariously.

That had definitely been fun.

o.o.o.o.o

“No need to thank me.”

Harry gaped at Ms. Uzumaki for a long moment, then over at Professor Lupin, then at the man that had just been introduced as Sirius Black, right here in the middle of the platform as endless students swarmed to meet their families again.

The man smiled.

“Hello, Harry. It’s nice to see you again.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since I should probably mention it: Suigetsu's gay, Karin is bi, and the yelling about their sexual histories has no actual vitriol or bite behind it. It's just them being assholes to each other, because that's the kind of friends they are.


End file.
